I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
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I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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