I don't usually arrange sex via text message
farters have to be the big spoon...
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
