I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
last night I used snow as a chaser
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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