i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
