Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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