Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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