I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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