"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
