but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I need water and some morals
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
