Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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