oh god the rape fog is back!
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
