...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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