That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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