dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
