I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Congratulations! We have a period
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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