there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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