oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize