Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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