i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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