VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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