I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize