I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
