HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
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James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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