Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
