I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ