Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize