We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.