Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?

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  (416): i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ? http://tfl.nu/m6rh
  Replies (9) Good night (521) Bad night (2434) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?

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  (585): This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat? http://tfl.nu/3sn0
  Replies (93) Good night (1011) Bad night (3212) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."

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  (303): After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot." http://tfl.nu/jk33
  Replies (16) Good night (1531) Bad night (4616) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.

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  (610): he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted. http://tfl.nu/laiq
  Replies (34) Good night (6444) Bad night (539) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.

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  (412): Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest. http://tfl.nu/42ye
  Replies (6) Good night (4266) Bad night (912) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far

  (713): View more from Texas

  Sounds better than last semester

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  (214): So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far (713): Sounds better than last semester http://tfl.nu/9h5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1469) Bad night (4454)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.

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  (425): Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us. http://tfl.nu/n2iw
  Replies (5) Good night (1897) Bad night (746) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.

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  (617): im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone. http://tfl.nu/veb9
  Replies (5) Good night (2527) Bad night (1759) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  What's the over under on catching something from your sister?

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  (585): What's the over under on catching something from your sister? http://tfl.nu/0z2a
  Replies (20) Good night (608) Bad night (2920) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.

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  (610): first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/lsrh
  Replies (6) Good night (2361) Bad night (506) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.

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  (770): You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned. http://tfl.nu/2qpc
  Replies (5) Good night (2059) Bad night (497) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".

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  (+44): Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis". http://tfl.nu/tct7
  Replies (7) Good night (1527) Bad night (370)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD

  (469): View more from Texas

  My thighs feel like glass

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  (214): YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD (469): My thighs feel like glass http://tfl.nu/m7pw
  Replies (3) Good night (1342) Bad night (422)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor

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  (780): i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor http://tfl.nu/zkix
  Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.

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  (510): He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public. http://tfl.nu/l5dt
  Replies (9) Good night (292) Bad night (990) Order T-Shirt

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