you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize