Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he was CRYING into my vagina
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.