5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am midnight drunk by noon
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
