Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
