No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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