So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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