Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
