you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
