hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Hippo gnu deer
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize