You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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