i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
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