no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
