exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
