So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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