did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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