im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
