the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
