I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
