Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
