"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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