Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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