woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
