You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize