chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
