I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
