if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
