Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
