Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
