Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
