operation have a gay friend backfired
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
