OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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