You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
