ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
