When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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