How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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