That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
