Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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