Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
