Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I need a burrito and a hug.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
