life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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