I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
