yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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