know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
